MOMENT OF ENCOUNTER DEVOTIONAL
By Prophet Dr. Abiodun Adesida, PhD
WHY AM I LIKE THIS, IF ALL IS WELL WITH ME?
Anchor Scripture
«“And the children struggled together within her; and she said, If it be so, why am I thus? And she went to enquire of the LORD.”
— Genesis 25:22 (KJV)»
MESSAGE
There comes a time in life when you must stop asking, “What is wrong with everybody?” and courageously ask, “Lord, what is happening to me?”
Rebekah reached that point.
She had prayed for a child. God answered. Pregnancy came. Testimony landed. Congratulations followed.
But suddenly, the testimony started kicking!
The woman who had probably once prayed, “Lord, just give me a child,” was now asking:
“If it be so, why am I thus?”
In today's language:
“Lord, if everything is truly okay, why am I like this?”
That is one of the most brutally honest questions in Scripture.
“If You are with me, why am I struggling?”
“If I am blessed, why is there so much unrest?”
“If I have the Holy Spirit, why does my temper occasionally behave like it has another landlord?”
“If I have forgiven them, why does my blood pressure still recognize their name?”
“If I am spiritually mature, why does one WhatsApp message scatter three hours of my peace?”
Beloved, welcome to self-examination.
There are moments when the person requiring deliverance from certain attitudes may not be your neighbour, your mother-in-law, your pastor, your village people or that mysterious colleague at work.
Sometimes, after binding everything bindable, you may need to stand before God's mirror and whisper:
“Father, search me too.”
WHEN THE PROBLEM MAY NOT BE EVERYBODY ELSE
Christians can sometimes become excellent spiritual detectives.
We can diagnose everybody.
“That brother has pride.”
“That sister is jealous.”
“My pastor doesn't understand me.”
“My spouse is difficult.”
“My colleagues are wicked.”
“My neighbours are monitoring me.”
After diagnosing the entire population, heaven may quietly ask:
“And what about you?”
That question can be painful!
Jesus warned:
«“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?”
— Matthew 7:3»
It is amazing how clearly we can see somebody else's tiny problem while carrying our own timber plantation!
Paul therefore says:
«“Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves.”
— 2 Corinthians 13:5»
Notice that Paul said, “Examine yourselves.”
He did not say:
“Examine your pastor.”
“Examine your husband.”
“Examine your wife.”
“Examine your neighbour.”
There is a spiritual examination in which you are both the candidate and the subject.
And copying somebody else's answer will not help!
REBEKAH ASKED THE RIGHT QUESTION
Rebekah did something profound.
She did not merely complain about what was happening within her.
She went to inquire of the LORD.
That is maturity.
Some people inquire of everybody except God.
One strange dream occurs, and before breakfast five people have interpreted it.
One disagreement happens at church, and twelve WhatsApp contacts have received the “full story.”
By evening, somebody who was not even present already knows what “actually happened.”
Rebekah refused to turn her confusion into public entertainment.
She took her question to God.
There are things friends can advise you about.
There are things counsellors can help you understand.
There are things mentors can clarify.
But there are dimensions of your life that only God can accurately interpret.
When you do not understand what is happening inside you, inquire of the One who created you.
WHY AM I LIKE THIS?
Sometimes we need to ask ourselves difficult questions:
Why do I become angry whenever someone corrects me?
Why does another person's success make me uncomfortable?
Why do I repeatedly sabotage good relationships?
Why do I keep returning to habits I promised God I had abandoned?
Why am I always offended?
Why must I win every argument?
Why do I interpret disagreement as disrespect?
Why am I spiritually active but internally empty?
Why do I preach forgiveness beautifully but keep an archive of offences dating back to 2007?
Some people have forgiven you—but they still have the receipt!
They can tell you the date, time, location, weather condition and what shirt you were wearing when you offended them.
Beloved, sometimes the prayer is not:
“Lord, change them.”
Sometimes the breakthrough begins with:
“Lord, search me.”
David prayed:
«“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts.”
— Psalm 139:23»
That prayer requires courage because God may actually answer it!
WHAT COULD BE HAPPENING WITHIN ME?
1. THERE MAY BE A REAL SPIRITUAL STRUGGLE
Jacob and Esau were struggling inside Rebekah.
Likewise, believers experience conflicting desires.
Paul writes:
«“For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh…”
— Galatians 5:17»
The Spirit says, “Forgive.”
The flesh says, “Not this particular person, Lord.”
The Spirit says, “Keep quiet.”
The flesh says, “Just give me five minutes. I will explain Christianity to them!”
Wisdom says, “Walk away.”
Anger says, “No! We shall settle this matter today!”
Spiritual maturity is not pretending the struggle does not exist. It is learning which voice must govern your response.
You cannot stop every thought from knocking, but you do not have to give every thought a bedroom and house key.
2. YOU MAY BE ENTERING A NEW SEASON
Sometimes discomfort accompanies transition.
God may be changing your priorities, enlarging your responsibilities or stretching your capacity.
Yesterday's container may no longer be sufficient for tomorrow's assignment.
But be careful.
Not every discomfort means, “God is moving me.”
Sometimes your landlord simply increased the rent!
Not every disagreement means, “My season in this church is over.”
Not every correction means, “God is separating me from these people.”
Not every closed door is demonic.
And not every open door is divine.
Inquire of the Lord.
Rebekah did not manufacture an interpretation for her struggle. She asked God what it meant.
3. SOMETHING IN YOU MAY NEED HEALING OR CORRECTION
This one is not always pleasant.
Sometimes what we call “discernment” is suspicion.
What we call “boldness” may be rudeness.
What we call “holy anger” may simply be uncontrolled temper.
What we call “I don't tolerate nonsense” may sometimes mean, “I have not learned patience.”
What we call “protecting my peace” can occasionally become an excuse for avoiding reconciliation.
And what we call “waiting on God” can sometimes be procrastination wearing a prayer shawl.
Spiritual vocabulary cannot sanctify unhealthy behaviour.
Sometimes God will not rebuke the devil because the devil is not responsible for the matter.
Sometimes God simply says:
“My child, grow.”
Ouch!
But that “ouch” may save your destiny.
4. GOD MAY BE DEVELOPING YOUR CHARACTER FOR GREATER RESPONSIBILITY
God told Rebekah:
«“Two nations are in thy womb…”
— Genesis 25:23»
She saw discomfort.
God saw generations.
She felt wrestling.
God saw nations.
She had questions.
God had perspective.
Sometimes what feels confusing today becomes understandable when God reveals the larger picture.
Yet we must be careful not to romanticize every struggle.
Not every pain is proof that you are carrying “two nations.”
Sometimes pain is telling you something needs attention.
Therefore, don't automatically call every difficulty destiny.
Don't automatically call every opposition witchcraft.
Don't automatically call every disappointment “God's preparation.”
Ask God for wisdom.
THE DANGER OF SPIRITUALIZING EVERYTHING
There is a Christianity that can find a demon behind almost anything.
You overslept—attack.
Your phone battery died—attack.
The network disappeared during an online meeting—marine kingdom.
Your car refused to start—household wickedness.
Your ATM card declined—financial principality.
Please, before organizing seven nights of warfare, check whether you have money in the account!
Faith does not cancel wisdom.
Prayer does not cancel responsibility.
Spiritual warfare does not cancel self-examination.
Sometimes the enemy is attacking.
Sometimes life is happening.
Sometimes consequences are speaking.
And sometimes you need to change.
Wisdom is knowing the difference.
FIVE THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU ASK, “WHY AM I THUS?”
1. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Stop performing for yourself.
You can deceive people, but pretending before your own conscience is exhausting.
If you are hurting, acknowledge it.
If you are jealous, confront it.
If you are bitter, admit it.
If you are afraid, bring it before God.
Healing begins where honesty begins.
2. INQUIRE OF THE LORD
Rebekah prayed for understanding.
Prayer is not only:
“Give me.”
“Bless me.”
“Open the door.”
“Destroy my enemies.”
Sometimes sit before God and ask:
“Lord, what are You showing me about me?”
That prayer may produce more transformation than twenty requests for material things.
3. LET SCRIPTURE BECOME YOUR MIRROR
Your feelings are real, but they are not always reliable interpreters.
You can sincerely feel right and still be wrong.
Let Scripture challenge your assumptions.
Let God's Word correct you before you use it to correct everybody else.
4. LISTEN TO WISE COUNSEL
Sometimes the people who love you can see what you cannot see.
If three mature people who genuinely care about you keep pointing to the same attitude, don't immediately conclude that all three have joined your enemies' association.
Listen.
There may be something worth examining.
5. ALLOW GOD TO CHANGE YOU
The purpose of self-examination is not endless self-criticism.
It is transformation.
God reveals so that He can heal.
He corrects because He loves.
He exposes what is unhealthy so that something healthier can grow.
THE REVELATION BEHIND THE QUESTION
Rebekah asked:
“Why am I thus?”
God answered:
“Two nations are in thy womb.”
Her question opened the door to revelation.
This is powerful.
She could feel the struggle, but she could not interpret it.
Experience told her something was happening. Revelation told her what it meant.
That distinction can save you from many mistakes.
Never allow your feelings alone to become the final interpreter of your life.
Take your feelings to God.
Take your confusion to God.
Take your recurring patterns to God.
Take your questions to God.
And be humble enough to accept His answer—even when His answer begins with:
“My child, the first thing I want to change is you.”
FINAL EXHORTATION
Beloved, perhaps you have been asking:
“If God is with me, why am I like this?”
“If I am blessed, why am I struggling?”
“If I love God, why do I keep battling this attitude?”
“If I have prayed, why am I still restless?”
Do not condemn yourself.
But do not excuse yourself either.
Do what Rebekah did:
INQUIRE OF THE LORD.
There is nothing spiritually mature about pretending.
God is not frightened by sincere questions.
Sometimes the question “Why am I thus?” is the beginning of a deeper encounter with yourself and with God.
Before changing churches again, ask.
Before ending that relationship, ask.
Before blaming everybody, ask.
Before concluding that everybody is jealous of you, ask.
Before declaring another person your enemy, ask.
And sometimes, before shouting:
“Holy Ghost fire!”
Perhaps whisper first:
“Holy Spirit, search me.”
That may be the prayer that changes everything.
PRAYER FOR TODAY
Father, search me and know my heart. Reveal every attitude, wound, habit and pattern in me that does not glorify You. Give me courage to confront myself honestly. Where I need repentance, help me repent. Where I need healing, heal me. Where I need wisdom, teach me. Where I need maturity, grow me. Deliver me from blaming others for what You are asking me to confront within myself. Give me understanding concerning every struggle I cannot interpret, and let Your truth bring transformation to my life, in Jesus' name. Amen.
PROPHETIC CONFESSION
I refuse to live blindly concerning myself. The light of God is shining into every hidden area of my heart. I receive wisdom to understand what is happening within me. Every destructive pattern shall be broken, every unhealthy attitude shall be corrected, and every wound requiring healing shall receive the touch of God. I will grow in wisdom, character, discernment and spiritual maturity. I will not merely look spiritual—I will become spiritually mature. In Jesus' name. Amen.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
If everybody around you is always the problem, when will you allow God to examine you?
Sometimes the most powerful prayer is not:
“Lord, change my situation.”
It is:
“Lord, show me what needs to change in me.”
Your Brother,
Prophet Dr. Abiodun Adesida, PhD
CAC IBUDO ONA ABAYỌ
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